…And I’ve decided to bold the ones I actually meet. This was posted in response to a story about a Nepal girl who is considered a Living Goddess (she’s 10) and that to be considered such had to meet 32 Perfections.

The knitter “32 Purlfections”

1. Must own an Ashford spinning wheel.

2. Must possess at least one ball of cashmere yarn. The good stuff.

3. Must have at least PETTED a vicuna.

4. Must have an allergic reaction when within 100 meters of acrylic.

5. Must ONLY knit with Rosewood needles.

6. Must take a daily bath in wool wash.

7. Must study stitch pattern books by candlelight every night.

8. Isn’t afraid to use spare bamboo needles as chopsticks in a pinch.

9. Raises alpacas.

10. Has never knit a dog sweater. (Oh, dear me, I’ve failed this severely.)

11. Uses beads in knitting sparingly.

12. Has a self-portrait tapestry out of self-striping yarn hung in the foyer of their estate.

13.  Breaks out in hives at the very mention of “Fun Fur”. (See an earlier post about the evils of Fun Fur if you need further convincing.)

14. When carried through the streets, attendants must be wearing sashes made from knitted wire.

15. Thinks novelty yarn is for decorative trim applied with Elmer’s glue.

16. Always sits at the head of the table at knit-a-longs, etc.

17. Is forbidden to utter the words “Stitch and Bitch”.

18. Has specially crafted wooden needles with personalized initials carved into them that are only used for hair decoration. (Well, half of this, I have the needles, but they’re too big to use as hair needles. And I don’t put needles in my hair.)

19. Never uses stitch markers.  The knowledge of stitch placement was implanted at birth.  No need.

20.  Has a color wheel birthmark in between the eyes.

21.  The umbilical cord is replaced with an I-cord, and can only be snipped with Gingher scissors.

22.  Whenever the feet are kissed by adorers, they must be wearing hand-knitted socks.

23. The word “stash” is replaced by “bejeweled collection”.

24. Instead of “click clacking” – CHANTING is heard when knitting with Addi Turbos.

25. The body AUTOMATICALLY assumes a pose when sitting down to knit.  And locks it in.

26. Must have a colorway named after them from at least 32 yarn companies.

27. TV appearances are immediately followed by a post-show hosted by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.

28. Tickets sold to public appearances must be printed with gold-leaf lettering.

29. Never has UFO’s.

30. Never has WIP’s.

31. No project is ever the subject of scrutiny, or is ever called a “loser”.

32. There is always a waiting list to be added as a “friend”.

(taken from Yarn Ball Boogie’s Blog, this is his list, I’m just stealing it.)

I think I may have crossed the line between ‘hobby’ and ‘lifestyle’. Knitting has officially taken over my existence. Which, I suppose I should have figured this out when I inked the image of needles and yarn into my fore arm.

I only really have on full on UFO. It’s the second ‘Short n’ Sweet’ bolero I made from the Stitch n’ Bitch Happy Hooker. The first one was out of a heavy cotton yarn and it sucked my will to live while I was trying to figure out the pattern. After that one I figured the second one would be a piece of cake so I whipped up another one out of lighter yarn. It went much quicker and was easier.

And here is where I discovered that once I fully know how to do something I no longer want to do it. Near the end of this second bolero I decided I had conquered crochet and wanted to brush up on my knitting. I knew how to knit already but hadn’t really progressed past basic knit stitch and some lumpy purl rows. So, I picked up my needles and started knitting. I set the nearly finished bolero aside thinking that after knitting for a bit I’d finish the last sleeve and weave in the ends.

That was eight months ago.

And here the bolero lay…lost amongst dozens of beautiful finished knitted items.

So, I ask you, dear readers do I finish the second sleeve, and weave in ends and put it up for sale (or possibly gift it, or keep it for myself?) or frog it and use the yarn for more challenging endeavors?

This is the finished sleeve.

Unfinished sleeve/opening

Front

What’s left of the yarn.

Eh?

My green shrug I knitted while I was in Alaska sold on Etsy.com yesterday. That is my first official “I made this” sale! I’m pretty stoked.

Extra $30 for more yarn! Yes!