So, in response to my last blog post about the Steven Wells article, someone decided to fire back with some half hearted snark. Oh man I love it when they do that!

I went ahead and approved the comment because quite frankly I think it’s cute. However for my own purposes now I’ll go ahead and repost it here so you, my dear readers, don’t have to bother your pretty little heads with clicking an extra button on a different post.

“silverbullet Says:
January 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm e

um, I think the main point of the article was HUMOR rather than a “book review”. I’m sure Mr Wells is terrified that you’re telling your ENTIRE “punk rock” knitting circle about him. If you’re doubting his credentials…He probably threw up naked in an alley in england with the bands whose bumper stickers you lovingly affix to your honda…”

Okay, grammatical and technical errors aside: I loved this! First and foremost they’re right, I didn’t get the ‘humor’ of Mr. Wells’ piece. Mostly because it wasn’t really funny. I appreciate the attempt at humor, but a few paragraphs of contrived insults aimed at a group of people who have probably never done him any harm doesn’t strike me as funny. If he had followed up his insults with explanations or even a personal story about the time his ex girlfriend left double pointed needles on the bed and he rolled over on one in the middle of the night and skewered his left teste; that  I would have found funny.

Secondly, it was in fact Mr. Wells that asserted that he was supposed to be reviewing these books. Which he obviously didn’t do since neither of them is really a knitting/crochet book. The Anti-Craft book is more a general crafting book and Alter Nation is primarily a sewing/alterations book. Both are great in their own right, but really when you come down to it all Steven Wells had to do was flip open a cover and he could have written something that might have made sense.

I did not make my statement about telling my “punk rock knitting circle” (C’mon, “circle”? Please, we’re a “gang”, a “group”, a “posse” if anything.) to strike terror into the heart of the author. First of all, despite all the metal in our faces and ink in our flesh, none of us are very scary. Unless of course you mention there’s a half off all merino yarn sale somewhere, then we’re cut throat. Second of all, we’re in Las Vegas, NV. Steven Wells is in Philly. Except sending him nasty shit in the mail, really what can we do from here? Also, is it even worth the cost of postage these days? I think not. Thirdly, my point for mentioning it was to simply illustrate the fact that there are ‘punk rock’ knitting groups out there. At least two of which I personally belong to, there are literally hundreds if not thousands more else were in the world.

I also do not doubt Mr. Wells credentials as the resident punk rocker on staff at the Philadelphia Weekly. In fact, if you will remember, what I said was:

“…it’s obvious that this man does not craft in any fashion so I’m not sure how these books ended up on his desk for review anyway. Unless he’s the periodicals resident punk rocker, in which case, why the hell would you give him craft books?”

Which in fact does not call into question any one’s ‘punk rock-ness’. I said simply that if his role at this paper is as the resident punk rocker, than why would you give him crafting books? Isn’t he better off writing about all that naked vomiting he did in England? I mean, obviously the man is a literary genius, why bother the poor soul with books about boring ‘domestic arts’ when he could be writing about really interesting things like heroin overdoses and how to make your liberty spikes stand up properly. (I hear glue works wonders, but doesn’t that sound a little too DIY for his tastes? Maybe he should just go to a stylist instead of doing it himself.)

Also, I own a Subaru not a Honda, and just for total disclosure the stickers on my car include: Alkaline Trio, Girl in a Coma and a sticker from a local coffee house in Ft. Collins, Colorado that says “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drink Corporate Coffee”. That’s it. Pretty simple. I don’t wear music like a badge, I like what I like and that’s that.

Please feel free to keep the snarky comments rolling in, this was way more fun to write than a pattern for my knitted tea cup sweaters. I mean, gosh, I haven’t had the chance to flex my ‘Snappy Comebacks’ muscle in a long time.

This morning, while perusing my usual knitting/crafting blogs, I ran across a post that someone had left on one of the many communities I’m apart of that linked to an article by Steven Wells, who evidently writes for the Philadelphia Weekly. His article is evidently intended to be a dual book review for the AntiCrafts new book “AntiCraft: Knitting, Beading and Stitching for the Slightly Sinister”, and “Alter Nation” (which by the way, isn’t even a knitting and/or crochet book, despite Mr. Wells best attempts to lump it in with us.)

Here’s my problem: if this was supposed to be an attempt at a book review and not just a general indictment of anything that involves sticks and string, than were is the review part? I mean, I read the bashing the craft in general part but I did not see much of a book review going on in there. Now, secondly, it’s obvious that this man does not craft in any fashion so I’m not sure how these books ended up on his desk for review anyway. Unless he’s the periodicals resident punk rocker, in which case, why the hell would you give him craft books?

I do not, nor will I ever, assert that I am in super ‘punk rock’. However, I also do not align myself with the “poor burnt-out-at-40, dead-by-50 great grandmother” set either. I am 25 years old, choosing to remain childless, college educated, run a successful crafting  business, well read, well spoken and most importantly I learned to knit and crochet all by myself. I was not handed the craft when I was a child, I sought it out when I was 22 years old and had just  moved to Las Vegas, NV to attend art school.

When I sit and knit I usually listen to music or watch television. Not that my musical preference has any bearing on my knitting, but generally speaking I am listening to Alkaline Trio, Rilo Kiley or The Cure. I do not knit toilet paper cozies, in fact I had to Google the term to make sure they even exist at all (sadly, they do.), and when I am crafting a project of any kind I do it off the cuff and spontaneous like. I resent the implication that in order to be edgy or cool, you cannot take up any form of crafting. I am hesitant to assert my ‘edginess’ here because, every time I try to look hard it comes back and bites me in the ass, however I will say that the knitters I hang with tend to lean more towards the ‘FUCK! I dropped a stitch!’ crew than the ‘Fiddlesticks! Pass me the crochet hook lovey’ crew.

I am no Adolf Knitler (though I do think the term is catchy) and I am not a crochet-fascist. While Mr. Wells throws both of those terms around as though they are bad things, he in no way defines who they apply to. Are Adolf Knitlers the particular group of knitters who abhor anything that is not strictly knitting needles and wool? Are these the group of people who think crochet is a lesser art? Are these the ‘yarn snobs’? Cuff down sock knitters? I’m not sure. I can think of several factions of knitters who may qualify because of their strict and often uncompromising opinions on how, where, when and who should perform our chosen art form. He lost me at crochet-fascist though. I have no idea what the hell that is. I’ve never met a crocheter who even comes close to being a fascist. They are usually a very nice and open bunch.

All in all, I bet this whole matter of anti-knitting-semitism would be solved if we as a community decided to knit Steven Wells a variety of things that would show a) how simple sticks and string can convey love and b) that if he doesn’t shape up we’ll simple assault him with our pointy sticks until he cries like a little girl. He’ll be wishing for a Knit Nazi concentration camp after he’s felt the prick of a thousand tiny sock needles pierce his delicate fleshy underbelly.

If I can find a physical address perhaps I’ll send him some mittens. Maybe he’s just cranky because Philadelphia in the winter is pretty much Hell frozen over.

(Oh, and just so we’re clear, I read about this review on the Punk Knitters community on Livejournal, and I will be telling all of my friends at my punk rock knitting group about this dude next Wednesday night. So there.)

Last night while watching “Chuck” and Adult Swim I decided that I wanted to knit a reusable java jacket. For those of you who are not wholly addicted to caffeine, a java jacket is usually the thin flap of card board that coffee houses slap around a cup of coffee that is usually at least 160 degrees. The card board, obviously, does very little to actually insulate either the hot coffee to keep it warm, or your fingers from getting burned. They also are a huge waste of paper since most people toss them with the cups when they are done.

Since I’m one of those tree hugger types who tries really hard to find little ways to live a ‘greener’ life, I decided it would be more cost effective and environmental of me to knit one that I could take on and off at will. So I came up with this:

I did a little eyelet thingy on each side of the rows with makes a kind of feathered texture at those ends. It’s nothing fancy, but it does add a little tiny bit of something around the edges. I think from now on when I need to do swatches, I’ll probably make the swatches into these so at least they’re useful.

It’s fully adjustable, with just three buttons sewn onto the body of it. I knit it long enough to fit around my widest cafe style mug that I have here, then the second button fits around a normal sized coffee mug (pictured) and the third button fits around a standard to go cup from a coffee house.

I used mismatched buttons because, quite frankly, I didn’t have three brown buttons that matched. I should probably run to the fabric shop today if I’m going to make more of these.

Flat, this is what it looks like. It’s basically just a rectangle with two little flat on each end, one end has a button hole, the other end has the buttons.

The flaps cross over and are thin enough to fit underneath the handle on a coffee mug.

I like it, it works well to keep the tea warm for longer and to keep the cup from burning my fingers. I suppose it could be worn in conjunction with the teacup handle sweater but that might look a bit silly.

Okay, that’s enough frivolousness for this morning. Off to fix more for my real job. Happy knitting ya’ll!

In the mornings I put a cup of water into the microwave to heat up so I can have a cup (or four) of tea. Every morning when the microwave dings and the water is hot, I stick my hands in the microwave and grab the cup handle which has since changed from it’s normal solid state of ceramic into what can only be described as molten hot ceramic lava.

I am done.

So this morning I whipped up this little thingy:

I am calling it “The Teacup Handle Sweater”, because I don’t knit things that could be considered ‘cozies’ because ‘cozies’ are for spinsters and knitters with too much time on their hands. Obviously, I am not that kind of knitter. (Shh! I know what you’re thinking: “That looks like a cozy to me….” I assure you, dear reader, it is not.)

Anyway, it works beautifully and now instead of burning my hand on the handle I simply put the cozy, er…sweater on it while it’s still in the microwave and then I take it out.

In case you’re unclear on how this device might work, here is a picture of it flat. There are three buttons and corresponding button holes. You wrap it around the handle, button up and off you go.

In case anyone cares to reproduce this little gem, there is a pattern here.

Now I have real work to do. Oh, and a lovely cup of tea to drink.

So I have a big ol’ post for ya’ll. I have been busting my ass on several different projects the last few weeks. The main one of course has been the ADHD Knitting website that should be (fingers crossed!) launching soon! I can’t show you pictures of that, but I can show you the things I’ve been knitting on.

First of all, I got the flu a few weeks ago and while I was high on Nyquil and Sudafed I figured it was as good a time as any to learn to knit socks.

Behold! My first pair of socks!

They are far from perfect, but they are foot shaped and they are warm.

Now, keeping with this new found sock goodness..

Behold! My third sock! (no pair yet.)

They are made from some Noelle’s Noodles sock yarn, which is a ridiculously soft super wash merino in the colorway “Nightshade”.

If you look closely you will see that the cuff has little itty cables.

I finished that sock last night. However, in true random knitter fashion I immediately cast on this:

Instead of casting on a mate for the blue sock. I appear to have developed Second Sock Syndrome. I have no interest in knitting two of the same sock, I just want to keep trying out all my new gorgeous sock yarn. Like say this one:

This was hand dyed and hand spun for me by Kaitlen who is the brilliant fiber artist behind Brave New Whorled. It’s gorgeous super soft sock yarn that she spun with her own two hands! She’s so talented.

Speaking of talent, or in my case a lack thereof, Kaitlen attempted to show me how to spin yarn last night. Here is what I managed to produce:

Not so smooth and beautiful. But I suppose if I took it off the wheel I could technically knit it, and that is what makes yarn. I will try again, and again and again until I get good. I’m determined.

Anyway, I also finished knitting up this little sweater for baby Madison Baily who is due in April.

It still needs buttons, but I love it. It’s so soft, and super stretchy and it is the first thing I knit on my brand new Knit Picks Harmony Options needles. Obviously it needs to be blocked as well, but I’m very happy with it and I can’t wait to send it to Mommy Alyssa. I also have another sweater that I knit awhile ago as a test knit for ADHD that I think I will send her too, I still need to pick up stitches for the button band on that one, but it shouldn’t be too hard now that I have longer cables for my interchangeable needles.

And now just for kicks, here’s a picture of our impromptu knit night that we had last night. Though an unfortunate series of events we ended up being at Kaitlens house (which itself wasn’t unfortunate, just how we ended not being able to meet at either of the places we tried to go first.) So, we ended up at Kaitlens, which was great because I snapped this excellent photo of Laurel with Kaitlen’s rat Pork Chop trying to climb into her shirt. The smiling face next to her is the always vivacious Laura.

Okay! I think that catches us all up on what I’ve been up too. And now I’m going to find a snack and pick up that green sock again. Good night!

• Change 1. Yarn Diet. No more frivolous yarn buying. I will only buy yarn if it is going to be used for a pre determined project and ONLY if I am ready to knit that project. No more buying for the sake of buying. I have a decent sized stash, if I want an impromptu project I can shop from my stash. I’m hoping this will also cut down on the number of WIPs I have lying around. I have literally dozens of things cast on at this point. Today and tomorrow I will be going through all of my various projects and either frogging them or queuing them up to finish. I bought $50 of yarn from the Eat. Sleep. Knit. website last night during their sale, which was my last purchase for 2007, and should hopefully be my last purchase of random yarn for the entirety of 2008. If at the end of 2008, my stash is once again to a reasonable level and I have completed projects that I may allow myself a little hurrah! spending spree at Wooly Wonders to reward myself. But that will ONLY be once I prove to myself that I am capable of sticking to this for the entire year.

• Change 2. Weight loss. I would like to go down at least two dresses sizes this year. I am currently a size 16 (or XL/L) pant and a XL/L shirt. I would like to be a size 10/12 pant and medium/large shirt. I currently have a 41″ waist, and a 49″(!!) inch hip. I think I can get down to a reasonable 36″ inch waist. I’d like to be down at least 1 inch by the first of March. We’ll re-evaluate then. My plan of attack here is as follows: no diets! I will eat healthy and well balanced meals regularly, I will cut out fast food entirely (which I’ve already pretty much done.) and I will limit myself to one soda every two days if I simply must have one. I will drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, PLAIN water no Propel, or powdery stuff. If I need a drink from the coffee house it must be made with skim milk and sugar free syrup. I will limit my sugar, sodium and salt intake. I will eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. I will do at least 20 minutes of exercise a day, that is at least. I’d like to shoot for at least an hour, once I work up to it. I am starting with the Yoga for Indie Rockers DVD in the mornings and hopefully my oh so embarrassing “Strip Your Way to Fit” Carmen Electra DVD in the afternoon/evening. I do have a gym membership, but I’m embarrassed to go right now because I feel like a giant water buffalo and I’ve got the coordination of one too. When I gain a little more confidence in my ability than I will begin a cardio/weight training work out at the gym at least three days a week.

• Change 3. Less t.v. more books. I have a huge list of books I’ve been meaning to read. I’m going to try to read a book a month this year and work through my list. If necessary I will download audio books and listen to them while I knit instead of the mindless television I usually watch while knitting.

• Change 4. Take classes seriously and work towards degree completion. It’s been great being in school for the last four years. I love college. But it’s time I start working towards getting the piece of paper. I’m  nearly there anyway, so I just need to focus for a semester or two more and get it done. It’s time. I’m starting this goal by taking only once class in the spring semester: Math. I’ve put it off for so long, I’ve given every possible excuse. This spring it’s the only class I’m taking, there is no excuse to blow it off or get a bad grade it’s the ONLY thing I have to worry about. In the summer I will take the next math class, which is the one I need to graduate. In the fall I will finish up my Lit credits and Spring of 09 I can take my last few random classes (PoliSci, another science and probably the last of my Lit credits.) and then I can graduate. No more pottery, no more random Soc classes (I already have ALL the Soc credits I need to get my degree in Sociology.), no more psych classes, NO MORE WRITING classes. We’re done. It’s time to be a grown up.

So there we have it. Changes for 2008. I’m currently downloading the audio book for Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs and I’m going to go pop in my yoga DVD and get started on Day 2 of Change 2. Wish me luck!